Every now and then, though, I find something I really need to share.
I work in a store that sells Christmas ornaments. I unwrap and price them starting in mid-July and hang them up for the world to see around the end of August. I kind of enjoy this, since I enjoy Christmas and cute stuff and I don't think that decorating a tree makes you a bad Christian somehow.
I have developed a high tolerance for the kitschy, the campy and the Just Plain Weird - though I am still less than fond of glitter.
But then I unwrapped The Monstrosity - a nameless abomination that took the form of a high-heel platform shoe-thingy in colors such that it would embarrass even the most hardened trailer park elf /Elvis impersonator.
In short, It's ugly, it's fragile, and it does not appear to bear any relationship to any secular or religious holiday.
Scroll down if you dare.
"that which is seen cannot be unseen."
Warned you, didn't I?
For a while I was in shock. The ugliness....burned. I with difficulty restrained myself from Cloroxing my eyeballs. Without a doubt, these where the most hideous Christmas ornaments in the history of everything ever . The sun appeared dark in my eyes as long as I possesed the knowledge that these things existed.
And then, a light dawned on me.
I remembered the worst Christmas song in the history of everything ever.
And the song and the picture came together and became humor.
And it was good.
The shoe things are still uuuuugly. The song is still about death, the saving power of materialism and manipulating the people around you.
But they can't hurt me any more.
At least, if I smash all the shoe things them and hunt down every version of that song and destroy it......I if that's covered under my comprehensive policy with Stranger & Stranger insurance?
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