Monday, May 26, 2014

Captain Haddock - from Abecedarian to Zapotec

We now present, for your pleasure, a more-or-less complete list of Captain Haddock's pseudo- expletives.
Please note that not all the combinations (i.e. "billions of blue blistered barbequed barnacles") are included, these are left as an exercise to the reader.



Abecedarians
Abominable snowman
Aborigine
Anachronisms
Anacoluthon
Anamorphic aardvark
Antediluvian bulldozer
Anthracite
Anthropithecus
Anthropophagus
Artichokes
Autocrats
Aztecs
Baboons
Baby-snacher
Bagpipers
Bald-headed budgerigar
Balkan beetle
Band of thugs
Bandits
Bashi-bazouk
Beasts
Belemnite
Big-head
Black beetles
Black marketeers
Blackamoor
Blackbird
Blackguards
Blistering baboons
Blistering blundering bird-brain
Blithering bombardier
Body-snatcher
Boneheads
Bootlegger
Bouganvillea
Bragging nitwit
Breathalyzer
Brigand
Brontosaurus
Brutes
Buccaneers
Bully
Bunch of rats
Cachinnating cockatoo
Cannibal
Carpathian bashi-bazouks
Carpet-seller
Caterpillar
Centipede
Cercopithecuses
Certified diplodocuses
Certified ignoramus
Cheeky
Chump chops
Coconut
Coelacanth
Coleoptera
Colocynth
Cowards
Crab-apples
Cro-magnon
Crooks
Cut-throat
Cyclone
Cyclotron
Dictatorial duck-billed diplodocus
Diplodocus
Dipsomaniac
Dizzards
Dogs
Donkey
Doryphore
Dratted animal
Drunken old ape
Duck-billed platypus
Dunder headed coconuts
Dunderheaded Ethelreds
Dynamiter
Ectoplasmic by-product
Ectoplasms
Egoists
Fancy-dress fascist
Fancy-dress Fatima
Fancy-dress freebooter
Fat faces
Fat-headed fire-raisers
Filibusters
Flaming jack-in-the-box
Flat-footed grizzly bear
Four-legged Cyrano
Fresh water swabs
Fresh-water pirate
Fuzzy-wuzzy
Gallows fodder
Gang of thieves
Gangsters
Gasbag
Gherkin
Gibbering anthropoids
Gibbering ghost
Gibbons
Gobbledygook
Gogglers
Goosecaps
Guano-gatherer
Guttersnipes
Gyroscope
Harlequin
Heretic
Highwayman
Hoodlums
Hydrocarbon
Iconoclast
Ignoramus
Ill-mannered savages
Imitation Incas
Infernal impersonations
Insolent porcupine
Interplanetary goat
Invertebrate
Jack-pudding
Jellied eel
Jellyfish
Jobbernowl
Judas
Kleptomaniacs
Klu-Klux-Klan
Landlubber
Lily livered landlubbers
Lily-livered bandicoots
Liquorice
Little goose
Little pirate
Little spitfire
Little wildcat
Loathsome brutes
Logarithms
Lubberly scum
Lunatic
Macrocephalic baboon
Mameluke
Megacycle
Megalomaniac
Merino lambs
Miserable earthworms
Miserable molecule of mildew
Misguided missile
Monkeys
Monopolizers
Monsters
Morons
Moth eaten imitation camels
Moth eaten marmot
Moujiks
Musical morons
Nanny goat
Nest of rattlesnakes
Nincompoop
Nitwitted ninepins
Numbskulls
Nyctalops
Odd-toed ungulate
Old alchoholic
Old witch
Olympic athlete
Ophicleides
Orangutangs
Ostrogoths
Paranoiac
Parasites
Patagonian pirates
Patagonian savages
Patagonians
Perambulating fire-pumps
Pestilential pachyderm
Pestilential parakeet
Phylloxera
Picaroons
Pickled herring
Pirates
Pithecanthropic mountebanks
Pithecanthropic pickpocket
Pockmark
Poisoners
Politician
Poltroons
Polygraphs
Polynesian
Prattling porpoise
Prize nincompoop
Prize purple jellyfish
Profiteers
Psychopath
Puffed up Punchinello
Purple profiteering jellyfish
Pyrographers
Pyromaniac
Raggle-taggle ruminants
Rats
Reprobate
Rhizopods
Road-hog
Ruffian
Saucy tramp
Savages
Scallywags
Scarecrow
Scoffing braggart
Scorpion
Scoundrels
Sea-gherkins
Sea-lice
Sealion
Second-rate son of a sword-swallower
Shipwrecker
Slave traders
Slubberdegullions
Son of a sea-gherkin
Squawking popinjay
Steamroller
Stool pigeons
Subtropical sea-louse
Swine
Sycophant
Technocrat
Terrapins
Terrorists
Thundering misguided missile
Thundering nitwitted sea-gherkin
Tin-hatted tyrant
Toads
Toffee-noses
Traitors
Tramps
Troglodytes
Turncoats
Twister
Two-timing tartar twisters
Two-timing troglodyte
Vampire
Vegetarian
Vermechellis
Viper
Visigoths
Vulture
Weevils
Wonder boy
Woodlice
Wreckers
Wretch
Zapotecs
 

Saturday, May 24, 2014


While we are on the subject of the misattribution of quotes, it might be well to bear in mind that the views expressed by characters in works of fiction do not necessarily reflect the views of the author(s).

Otherwise, hilarity ensues.

Monday, May 19, 2014

Ever see this floating around the internets?

It's supposed to be all inspirationally 'n' stuff. Deep. Heavy.

But it always made me wonder how such a normally sane, well grounded person could spout such drivel.

Well, my suffering is over - thanks to wikiquote I've discovered that it wasn't him. It was George Macdonald. That quote had been around for at least six years before Mr. Lewis was even born. (here, have some evidence.)

Now I like Macdonald as an author. The Princess and the Goblin is one of my very favorite books. But as a theologian I think he's nuts.

I realize that it is too much to ask for correct attribution of this tripe. But - can we like start a campaign to attribute that air-headed sentiment to someone other than Lewis? I dunno - maybe Plato?

update: I have doubts that Macdonald said it either. Also, this  is and interesting article.